Recent Thoughts

Monday, November 26, 2007

Early Christmas Cheer! (Year 2)

It's that season once again - a season of love, peace and all things mushy and good, hehe! And for the second year in a row, Christmas cheer took over me early on and much like last year, I have no idea why! I mean, there's is really nothing different on the coming Christmas, nothing that would set it apart from previous Christmases.

Again, for the second year in a row, I decorated our humble apartment at Quezon City. From hanging garlands with Christmas balls and flowers, we now have snowflakes! I chanced upon a site where you can design snowflake patterns and see with just one click how your design would look like. I also downloaded snowflake patterns by other users which I used in producing the snowflakes for our living room wall, with the help of an orgmate (a frequent apartment visitor) and a housemate.

LEFT: Our apartment sala, with the partially finished decors
RIGHT: View from below of the hanging Christmas garlands

Two weekends ago, my sister and I shopped for new Christmas decors for our home at Pampanga. And my, was it a very happy feeling! Haha! It was fun rummaging around the whole National Book Store for the best decorations that our budget could afford (the budget was generous enough to allow for lots of creativity!). We had a target budget and I forgot to bring a calculator, but fortunately, my Math wizard of a nephew came with us. So I dictated to him the rounded off prices for him to sum up, haha! I must admit, it was one of the best shopping experience I've had in my entire life. You're probably laughing at my kababawan, haha, but really, I immensely enjoyed looking for the best buys for Christmas decors. Hmmm, was it because I was not shopping for myself but for my family? Wushuuu.. haha! Mushy much!

LEFT: I formed a Christmas Tree 'landscape' out of snowflakes at the wall of our sort-of hallway.
RIGHT: The Christmas garland at our dining room. Identical garlands are placed at our living room windows.

For close-ups of the snowflakes and more shots, click here

So! Will the coming Christmas be as cheerful as it's supposed to be? Hmmm... No special someone (not that I mind), so no romantic happiness for me, haha! No definite budget for Christmas shopping, so no material happiness for me! As far as I am concerned, I have no bitter enemies recently, so no happiness-brought-about-by-forgiving-someone-this-Christmas for me, hehe! Hmmm... sana na lang, madami akong pasalubong sa parents ko, haha!

Friday, November 16, 2007

The "One More Chance" Post

I watched One More Chance last Wednesday, on its first screening day. Baduy na kung baduy, wala akong pakialam, hehe. I watched it with 3 orgmates (mind you, we were three guys and a girl, an unlikely combination indeed for a romantic movie, a local one at that!).

Anyway, this post will not be a technical review of the movie. Let’s just say that the movie pushed me to ponder on a lot of things – relationships (of the people around me, sa tingin ko makaka-relate sila, haha!), my own lovelife (or lack of it, hehe!) and love in general, and the inevitable pain that comes with it. As I write this post, I have the theme song, I’ll Never Go by Erik Santos, played on loop, for ambiance enhancement, haha!

The movie is a good one, well worth my money (syempre, Star Cinema eh! Go Kapamilya, haha!). What I liked about it is that it is a matured love story, a far cry from the horrendous show, Abt Ur Luv. (Yahaak talaga, it makes me cringe to even think about that show!). The characters from the movie belongs to my own age bracket, more or less, that’s why it was all the more appreciated by me. I’m about to turn 23, I am not getting any younger, and definitely, I have no time to play around and engage in teenybopper relationships. That’s why it comes as no surprise that the most meaningful line from the movie for me is this: It takes grown-ups to make a relationship work.

It made me think: is lack of maturity the main reason why relationships break up eventually, no matter how much love is there? Well, I have witnessed personally that love isn't always enough (and in the movie, you will see why). Quite ironic that when we comfort and talk to our friends who are having problems with their own partners, the question we always ask as if the answer to it is the only thing that matters is this: Mahal mo pa ba?

I couldn’t really say I could relate to the situation portrayed in the movie, but I was really able to feel the pain because some people really close to my heart (friends ha, hindi chever, hehe!) who could directly relate. I am there when my friends cry their eyes out. I am there when they say how painful it is. I am there when they tell me how hard it is.

I've never had a serious relationship in my whole life, but that’s not to say I haven’t fallen in love (wushuuuu, haha!). Being the one who is eternally single, I've been linked to a lot of my girl-friends. Yung iba may basis, yung iba wala. Yung iba totoo, yung iba trips lang, haha! Which begs the question, why am I single after all this time? Is it really a case of not having found ‘the one’ yet? Is no girl good enough for me? Or am I not good enough for any girl? Hehe! Of course, a few girls have sparked my interest. On most cases, it my feelings weren’t reciprocated (awwww..) and on some, it’s not them.. it’s me. Haha! Whatta cliché!

On the it’s-not-them-it’s-me cases, my dictum is this: kung hindi ko rin kayang panindigan, huwag na lang. Oo, kikiligan ako, kikiligin kami, kikiligan tayong lahat. Pero pagkatapos nun, ano na? Napakagwapo ko naman para manloko, diba?

Like I said, love isn't always enough… at least for me.

So am I commitment-phobic? Nah, I hopefully don’t think so. Every now and then, I do think about seriously having that ‘someone’ in my life. But when other equally important factors come into play, I know that my current choice is the right one for the moment. I will not risk other people’s feelings for personal gain (at love), most especially because these ‘people’ are most likely people I am good friends with. No, it’s not a case of “I am not willing to risk the friendship for fear of rejection”, because I personally believe that a genuinely sincere friendship can survive that kind of challenge. But it’s more like “I am not willing to risk the friendship for lack of certainty”. For if and when I decide to cross that bridge of from friendship to love, I think I at least owe to the other person to be sincere.

So did I cry in the movie? I would’ve, really… but laughter got the best of me because my friends (the two guys I was with, and not the girl) were already crying and I can't help but laugh, haha!

Quick Thoughts