Recent Thoughts

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Sleepless in Diliman

Hey guys! Congratulate me! I just survived one hell of a day.

Picture this. I only had 2 hours of sleep. I have two long exams – Physics 103 at 10am-12nn and EEE 51 at 1.30pm-4.30pm. I studied all evening last night and whole dawn today until 4.30am, when I couldn’t keep my eyes open to digest that transistor equivalent circuits employs a diode and a current-controlled current source to duplicate the behavior of a transistor in the region of interest. Whew! I slept till 7am when I resumed my review, that time on Physics.

It’s a good thing both exams turned out okay. Since I’m an EEE student, the exam was okay doesn’t necessarily mean I actually wrote down the correct answers and solutions. It translates to me having an idea about what to do but not 100% sure whether it’s correct and hoping for the best that I’ll clinch enough partial points to reach the passing mark. Oh well, the story of our EEE lives. So, yes, the review up to the wee hours in the morning was sure worth it. Leaving the examination room knowing you’ve actually placed something that filled your long pad was already an achievement in itself versus not having an idea what topic the question was about (tinuro ba iyon?) and that I just re-drew the circuits.

While I was busy solving for voltage gains and input impedances, I was already starting to miss my parents. They just left yesterday for Bahrain. One would think that I’ve already grown accustomed to the fact that both my parents have to be away. In fact, I already am used to it. But their departure yesterday was a teardrop moment for me. I wasn’t able to properly say goodbye.

Last time I saw them was Sunday, 5 days before they’d leave. That day, they had to leave early because they'd be attending a Thanksgiving Mass for the extra years that my Lola recently had due to the success of her colon operation. That day at lunchtime, I had to leave for UP. I was still asleep when they left.

I was already reviewing on FET Small Signal Analysis when the text from Mama came, saying that they had safely arrived at Bahrain. That moment, the fact that they already left sunk in. Next time I’d see them would be in 2006, in time for my College Graduation. Ate Joi even joked Mama, asking her if she’s sure I'd actually graduate by in time.

In the meantime, I continue improving my study habits so that when my parents come back, it will not be for naught.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

In search of the perfect blog site address

While I was reviewing for my Physics 103 exam, I was also thinking hard of a name for my blogsite. When I made my Blogger account, my first address was ‘fluxbyrne.blogspot.com’. After all, it is my Yahoo! ID and username for other websites as well. Then I realized that it is such an inconvenient name. Why? Well, for starters, whenever I give away my email address, I would always get a confused reply of “Ano?” and would have to repeat and spell it. So if I actually want to advertise my blogsite, I would definitely have a hard time. It isn’t easy to remember.

I came up with catchy ones like ‘haventfoundtheone’ (Ang haba naman!), ‘cantfindtheone’ (Sobrang bitter ko naman!), ‘findingtheone’ (Mukha namna akong desperado). I wanted something that represents me. So, I thought of ‘contentedheart’ (But then again, contented nga ba ako? Gandang blog topic ‘to ah!) or ‘wearyheart’ (para namang ang super sad ng lovelife ko!). But I don’t want to seem like a love guru ala Joe D’Mango. I may have lots to say about love and relationships, but I'm no expert at it. Besides, about love na nga yung tag line ko, pati ba naman blog site address?! I also tried ‘globetrotter’ for I'm fond of geography. But alas – it’s already taken.

So, I asked my housemates at our apartment about a cute and nice blog site address. I told them I want something that is so ‘me’. Kuya Argel suggested ‘poohcorner’. And everyone agreed. “That is so Rex” daw. But I didn’t think so. I snapped back, “No, that’s the Rex that you want to be”.

I'm no lover of Pooh or any of his merchandise. That would be Daphne – the girl they all want me to be with. Kesyo bagay daw kami. We look good together. Bakit ba alam pa nila sa akin?!

Now don’t get me wrong, Daphne is a pretty and nice girl. I've said it in my Friendster testimonial of her and I'd say it again here, lucky is the guy with whom she’d fall in love with – very lucky indeed.

Well, I can't blame my friends for being so pushy of me to Daphne or to any girl for that matter (si Phil lang ang nakalalamang sa pantutukso sa akin, as in sobrang lamang). They’re even willing to spend for one of my dates. They even made up a Love-To-Love-like series of Physics questions at our annual org event the Pautakan, just for me. Imagine, I'm the only single, for they’re all taken. Most of them actually even think they’ve found ‘the one’ for them. That’s why on gimmicks, I'm usually the odd-numbered wheel. One time, I asked them why are they so persistent. They said they just want me to be happy. Kesyo nasa ‘in denial’ stage pa daw ako – na ayaw ko lang aminin sa sarili ko. In fact, most of the greetings in my Birthday card last month consisted of wishes for true love and happiness. That’s when I realized how lucky I am to have such a nice bunch of friends. But still, no matter how much they know me and how good their idea is of what would make me happy, it will still be up to me, right?

At the end of the day, I settled for ‘kingofchocolates’. It’s a translation of Rex and I'm a chocolate addict or anything sweet. It can't get any ‘REXier’ than this.

Monday, January 10, 2005

Di Na Natuto

Ilang beses na nga ba akong bumagsak sa mga major subjects ko ngayon? Sandali, parang hindi ko na yata mabilang. Alam ko na! Ilang beses na nga ba akong pumasa? Dalawa… out of nine? Grabe, ganoon na nga ba ako ka-bobo at ka-delingkwente?

Bakit nga ba ako bumabagsak? Ang hirap ng mga exam eh! Ipa-design ba naman ang isang p***ng i**ng frequency sythesizer that will generate a fundamental f0 and its p***ng i**ng harmonics!?! Hindi naman itinuro iyon eh! Tama ba naman iyon? Objective part na nga lang ang tangi kong pag-asa sa exam, iyon pa ang tatanggalin.

Iyon nga lang ba ang problema – na mahirap magpa-exam ang aking mga propesor? O ito lamang ay isang rasyonalisasyon ng mga nakagawian ko – na sa totoo lang, ay hindi naman ako talagang nag-aral nang husto? Well, guilty as charged.

Tulog kasi nang tulog! Diba dapat tulog nang late, gising nang maaga? Ang nangyayari kasi, tulog nang maaga, gising nang late pa! Tumatawad pa 5 minuto na nagiging 30 minuto na nagiging 1 oras na nagiging 2 oras tuwing nag-aalarm ang cell phone eh!

Kapag may exam, alam ko naman by experience na hindi dapat ako nagsisimulang mag-aral the night before. Kaya lang, 2 nights before, it’s either inaantok ako dahil napuyat ako the night before sa katatapos ng machine problem ko, may activity sa org or na-frustrate lang ako dahil kahit anong basa ko, hindi ko pa rin maintindihan (tatanong ko muna bukas sa kaklase ko!). Resulta? 31.25% na standing. Di bale, may dalawang exam pa at finals.

Sabado ang 3rd exam, Tuesday night pa lang, subsob na ako sa main library hanggang gabi. Tinapos ko na ang kalahati ng mga readings mo. Nung last exam, nagsisimula pa lang ako by 8.00pm the night before. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, Kaya mo yan! O diba, sobrang advanced reading ka ngayon! Well, relative sa iyong regular cramming habit. Resulta? Tinapos ko ang exam 2-hour exam ng isang oras! Grabe na ‘to! This is too good to be true. First time in years na lumabas ka ng exam room nang masaya! Haay, mabuti naman at may pag-asa akong makuha ang 80% na kailangan ko sa lahat ng natitira kong exam para lang maka 3.0.

Ganun naman lagi every sem eh. Sa simula, kunwari nakikinig ako, nag-te-take down ng notes. After 1 week, kapag hindi ko na naiintindihan, nag-rarandom na lang ako sa calculator ko, nagtatanong ng kung anu-anong kalokohan. I’ll make a deal with you God, may itatanong ako, please answer through my scientific calculator. Gusto ba niya ko? Kapag even, yes. Kapag odd,no. Shift + Ran#. EXE. 0.825. Yes!! Liligawan ko na ba siya? Kapag even, yes. Kapag odd,no. Shift + Ran#. EXE. 0.713. Yes!!

Kung minsan naman, nakakaantok talaga ang aking mga guro. Kahit nagkakandahirap akong tiisin ang pagkabagot, try-and-try-until-you-die pa rin ako sa pakikinig. Kapag di ko na talaga matiis, asan na nga ba yung calculator ko? Sino ang pipiliin niya? Kapag even, ako. Kapag odd, siya. Shift + Ran#. EXE. 0.496.(Buntong hininga) Siya…God, is our deal still on?

At ngayon, katapusan na naman ng sem. Gaya ng inexpect ko, habulan to the max pa rin ako sa mga subjects ko. Major subjects pa man din!

Gusto ko man sabihin na next sem, mag-aaral na talaga ako!, hindi ko magawa, nahihiya na ako sa sarili ko sa kaka-pangako na aayusin ko na ang aking study habits. Gagawin ko na lang, huwag mangako. Kailangan eh. Hindi na ako mag-papa-distract sa kung anu-ano. Studies first. Kahit org ko pa (yeah, right! Para namang matitiis ko). Mas lalong kahit pag-ibig (no comment).

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Isaw

“Sige class, kung wala na kayong tanong, then you’re dismissed.”

Haay, natapos din ang class! Ang saya-saya ko! Makikita na naman kita sa lobby, kasi tapos na rin ang klase mo. And syempre, as usual, sabay na naman tayong maglalakad pauwi ng dorm.

Alam mo bang tuwing Soc Sci 2 ko ay ikaw na lang lagi ang iniisip ko? Paano ba naman, habang pinag-aaralan ko si Plato at Socrates sa PH 206, pinag-aaralan mo naman si Rizal sa PI 100 mo sa PH 208. Alam mo rin bang matagal na kitang crush? Kalayaan days pa natin, head over heels na ako sa iyo! Kaya nga nag-Yakal ako kasi nabasa ko sa bulletin board natin na na-approve ang application mo sa Yakal. That’s why ang swerte ko this sem! Kasi nga, magkatabi room natin at pareho pa ang oras ng class natin. Pareho rin tayong diretso sa dorm pagka-dismissed kasi pareho na tayong wala nang class. Syempre, pareho tayong galing AS at pauwi ng dorm, ala ngan naming hindi pa tayo magpansinan at magsabay, diba?

“Nicole!”

“Oh Marty, haler!”

Sheeet, ang cute ng smile mo!

“O pano, sabay ulit tayo?”

“Oo ba.”

“Musta PI mo? Natapos mo na ba ang readings mo”

“Haay naku! Iyon nga ang problema ko eh. I’m lagging by 5 chapters! Kaya nga nagmamadali ako kasi gagawa pa ako ng powerpoint sa report ko sa isang major ko bukas. Wish ko lang, makaya ko ‘to.”

Ashuu, lagi mo naman sinsabi iyan! Napaka-humble mo talaga! Tapos niyan next sem US ka na naman.

“Ngi, ‘kaw pa. Sayang, yayayain sana kita mag-isaw sandali.”

“Awww, pasensya na ah. Promise! Kapag nakaluwag ako, ililibri pa kita!”

“Promise mo yan ah..”

“Oo sige.. oh ikaw, musta Soc Sci 2 mo? ‘Nga pala, yung Outline ko kelan mo kukunin? Kahit hindi mo na basahin ang libro, maipapasa mo yan.”

Actually, may nahiram na ako. Pero syempre, mas gusto ko gamitin iyong sa iyo. Tapos tuwing mag-aaral ako, magdo-doodle ako ng Marty © Nicole.

“Oo nga! Mamyang dinner, dalhin mo na, kukunin ko na.”

“Uy, daan ulit tayo Beta Way..”

“Bakit ba dun mo lagi gusto dumaan? May crush ka dun sa may parking lot no?”

“Gagi, wala noh! Gusto ko naglalakad dun kasi parang nasa park ako.”

“Haler? Eh isang malaking park kaya ang UP noh!”

I used to hate ‘haler’. I thought it was baduy. Now I think it’s cute.

“Gusto ko kasi nag-sa-sight-seeing dun, kasi ang dami ko nakikita. Ganitong oras ang daming couples dun.”

Gusto mo sali tayo sa kanila minsan?

“Hindi ka ba mangagati sa mga lamok dun?”

“Hindi kaya! Ang romantic kaya dun. Yung bang mag-uusap kayo under the shade of a tree. Tapos kung anu-ano napag-uusapan niyo. Para bang Before Sunrise at Before Sunset ang drama mo.. Kaya pwis pwis Mawty, mag-Beta Way na tayo..”

“O siya-siya, Beta Way na kung Beta Way.”

Every TF, inaabangan ko itong mga ‘walks’ natin. Ang sarap mo kasi kausap. Iyon bang kahit ano, kaya mong lagyan ng punchline/ Kahit corny joke, nakakatawa pa rin, kasi dinadaan mo sa performance. Ayoko dumadaan sa Beta Way kasi ang dilim at ang daming sukal. Pero syempre, ala ngan namang humiwalay pa ako sa iyo. Kapag nag-baby talk ka na, hindi na ako makahindi.

“Wook wook Marty! Ayun oh, dalawang jologs na mag-syota..”

“Uy, grabe ka naman diyan manlait.”

“Ehehe, sowi po.. ang sweet nila noh? Siguro day-off pa nung katulong ngayon kaya sila nakapag-date..”

“Di bale, kapag nakapag-day off na rin tayo sa acads natin, punta tayo dito..”

“Oy ano ka? Mag-de-date tayo?”

“Uhmm..”

Oh no! Masusupalpal ‘ata ako!

“.. eh, hindi naman. Wala lang.. gusto mo mag-hang out dito eh, sasamahan lang kita. Baka ma-rape ka pa..”

Shet! Mabubuking mo na yata na gusto kita!

“Ganon, concerned ba?! Weawy? Hehe.. how nice of you to do that.. sweet mo pala, swerte ng magiging GF mo..

AWKWARD AND SILENT MOMENT.

“Uhm, sabay tayo nood ng Lantern Parade ha. Next week na iyon.”

“Sige, okay lang. As in tayong dalawa lang?”

“Okay lang. Tapos gusto mo manood ng Miss Eng’g?”

“Di naman tayo pareho Engineering ah! Pwede ba tayo manood?”

“Oo naman, kahit di Eng’g pwede.. tsaka, Metallurgical Eng’g ako, remember?”

“Oh no! ‘Nga pala! Sorry ah.. Oo nga! How silly of me! Diba iyun ang tambayan niyo?”

“Yup!”

“Ikaw, nag-Miss Eng’g ka? Puti mo eh!”

“Yup..”

Geesh, baka ma-turn off ka sa akin.

“Talaga?! Nanalo ka ba?”

“2nd Runner-Up. Tagal na nun noh! Next topic, please.”

“Really? Ang galing mo naman! Alam mo ba? Bilib ako sa mga nag-miMiss Eng’g. Kasi ang lakas ng loob nila! You’re suppose to be real men diba? Wala lang, it takes a lot of courage to be able to do that.. May award ka ba?”

“Bakti Award..”

“Huh? Ano iyon?”

“Uhmm, Bakat, alam mo na..”

“Ngek, hindi nga eh! Bakat ano?”

“Titi..”

“Yikes! Ganun ba kalaki? Ewww.. intriguing!”

Wanna make sure? Ooh! You touched my tralalala!!

“Next topic na please? Malapit na tayo sa dorm kaya ibahin na natin usapan natin, baka may makarinig pa sa wholesome conversation natin no! Isipin, pervert ako!”

“Minsan, patingin kung you deserve it ha, ..”

“Nicole ha, may lihim kang pagnanasa sa akin ha! Huwag mo ko hamunin, di’ kita tatanggihan..”

“Natural, alam ko naming crush mo ko eh!”

ANOTHER AWKWARD AND SILENT MOMENT.

“Uy, away mo pa bumili sa kart?”

“Sige, sure, why not!”

“Ate Linda, isang kaldereta po, dalawang rice.. Ikaw?”

“Ate Linda, chopsuey po, tatlong rice..”

“Ang takaw mo ah!.. Ate, eto po.. Saan mo dinadala ang kinakain mo?”

“Ewan ko nga, swerte ako kasi hindi naiipon ang kinakain ko sa katawan ko.. magkano po lahat?.. eto po oh. Tara, pasok na tayo.. Gusto mong ng chopsuey?”

“Salamat na lang. May hipon yan diba?”

“Oh eh ano ngayon? Ang sarap kaya!”

“Basta, nangangati lalamunan ko, allergic kasi ako eh.”

“Alam mo, ang dami mong hindi kinakain! Pati fishball at isaw ayaw mo..”

“Eh sa nandidiri ako eh. Tsaka ngangati talaga ako!”

“Ang sarap kaya! Ang arte kasi eh!”

Shet, nakakahiya, tuluyan ka nang na-turn off sa akin.

“O pano, Nicole, kita kits sa canteen mamya, pakidala yung Outline ah..”

“Sige, see ya!”

Haaay, another walk is over. Haay Nicole! Irog ng buhay ko!

“Marty, sandali.."

“Oh bakit?”

“Diba, nag-iinvite ka mag-isaw kanina?”

“Yup! Oh ano, nagbago na isip —“

“Diba allergic ka?”

“Hindi, naman, nandidiri la––”

“Diba sabi mo dati, kakain ka lang ng isaw if you’re with a girl you like?”

“Uh–”

“And you’re inviting me to eat isaw?”

“Yup..”

Quick Thoughts