Longest bus ride ever!

Permanently living in the province but studying in the city allows me to take a bus ride at least twice a week. I get to go home on weekends.

During my freshman year, the bus ride (from the Cubao terminal along EDSA to the San Fernando intersection) took at least 1.5 hours. But as the NLEX underwent many improvements through the years, the travel time was gradually shortened. When they repaired the old NLEX, the trip was cut to around 1 hour. And when the brand new NLEX was opened, the trip was cut to 45-50 minutes – barring any traffic jam along EDSA. (It wasn’t exactly a ‘new’ expressway though, because technically it was the same road. But the new NLEX was brought about by extensive and expensive renovations throughout the entire stretch of the expressway. Not to mention a brand new management). I would normally spend the trip sleeping while listening to music with either my mp3 player or cell phone.

Throughout the years, there were instances when the bus ride would take longer than usual due to many reasons – like unfortunate vehicular accidents or mad rushes because of holidays. My bus ride home last Saturday was devoid of any mishaps or delays – but it felt like the longest bus ride ever! The reason is very embarrassing actually, but I would share it anyway – I wanted to poop! Haha! Wait, correction – I didn’t want to poop, not in the bus, at least, but my stomach did, haha!

It was 10 minutes after my orgmates and I boarded the bus and it was already along the Munoz intersection along EDSA when I first felt the pangs of unexpected and violent bowel movement.

I wondered what I could’ve eaten to upset my stomach and intestines. I had lunch at a French food function by some HRIM students. We had onion soup, veggie salad, beef with mashed potato, crème brulee and iced tea. I have eaten all dishes before and it never caused me any problems.

The pangs started getting stronger as we finally entered NLEX. I literally uttered, “Hoh my gad!” ala Janina San Miguel in my mind, haha!

As I controlled the, erm, “contractions”, I started weighing my options. I could ask the conductor to stop by the nearest CR so I could relieve myself but since he was in the middle of issuing the passengers their tickets, everyone aboard will definitely hear about my plea. But if I try to keep it all in until I get home, I might embarrass myself more by you know, shitting on my pants. Ewww! Haha!

I ended up pooping at the Jollibee near the bus stop in San Fernando. Yes, my friends, I managed to suppress the explosion the whole trip. Thank God there was running water, tissue and soap at the Jollibee rest room! Whew!

I survived the trip by continuously praying the WHOLE time – I pleaded for God’s mercy and love and “postpone” my bowel movement until I get a decent rest room! Haha! I was consciously awake the whole trip, for I had to constantly have my ass in check for if I fall asleep, I might lose concentration and open the “flood” gates to my own personal hell, haha! I tried counting the number of emergency phone booths I see on the expressway to veer my mind away from my dire situation. But alas, I lost count when one contraction went quite violent, haha!

Most of you may think it was a huge gamble on my part. I would’ve easily solved my problem by approaching the driver and conductor and ask for some consideration which they probably would’ve given with full understanding. Besides, I may have embarrassed myself by doing so, but I would embarrass myself more and even inconvenience my co-passengers if I pooped on my pants, right? But each time I saw a road sign that signals an approaching gas station, my stomach was miraculously calm. So each time, I decided to stretch my luck, hehe.

It was a very embarrassing situation and I shamefully admit, it wasn’t my best moment, haha! But it was a learning experience.

First of all, if prayers can move mountains, it sure as hell can postpone bowel movement. I lost count how many saints I asked to intercede for my ‘cause’, haha! I know it’s kind of foolish that it took me this kind of situation to learn that Christian lesson but to be honest, that was the first amusing realization that came to my head as I sat on my emergency “throne” at Jollibee.

Secondly, I may have been lucky that day, but for the rest of my life, I can’t always rely on luck – especially if I actually have control of the situation. I could’ve simply asked the driver to stop at a gas station for a few minutes, but instead my fear of embarrassment got the best of me.

Thirdly, now I am afraid to take a trip to France! If the French-themed cuisine I had for lunch was really the culprit last Saturday, then I wouldn’t want to spend half of my French vacation inside the rest rooms, haha!

And by the way, no, hindi ako napatilis. Haha! Promise! Out of gratitude to Jollibee, I ordered a chocolate fudge sundae. Haha!

5 more instances that made me realize, I've become an adult

6) I have started to appreciate old music. When I was a child, my young ears would always be in revolting mode whenever Papa was in control of the stereo. Alan Jackson. Engelbert Humperdinck. Tom Jones. The Carpenters. Yahaaak! Haha! Of course, you wouldn’t expect me to like these artists back in the time when I thought New Kids On The Block were coolest singers on Earth! Papa’s musical taste is mainly folk or country music – genres that a pop fanatic like me thought I could never ever appreciate. But now, I have seriously re-considered.
Of course, I still cannot bear to listen to the likes of Alan Jackson, Engelbert Humperdinck and company, hehe, but have learned to appreciate modern country music. Carrie Underwood’s winning stint on American Idol Season 4 sparked my interest on country music. And the rest is history.
Another illustration of this happened just last month. I had just woken up and my Ate had a playlist of old songs on her computer. Normally, I would comment, “Yuck ate, ambaduy ng pinapatugtog mo!” Guess what I blurted out? “’Te, sino kumanta nyan? Pahingi ng mp3..” Haha! The theme weeks on American Idol further bolsters my appreciation of music that became popular before I really knew what good music is.

7) Many of my friends have gone abroad or are going abroad.
Now this is a sad fact. I have 2 very close friends who are already abroad. And 2 more close friends are leaving this month. And all four of them will be together in Singapore! Waaaa!
Obviously and admittedly, I feel left out. But I am not going to be dramatic about it for I have accepted my situation a long time ago. But if I won’t be with a friend for quite a long time doing something I should also be doing myself already, it still feels melancholic.
I have part-time job of being a tutor though. So in its own little way, it helps ease the frustration of not being able to earn my own money yet, hehe. At least I get to receive a helpful amount of salary each month already.

8) My mom has asked me to buy her a bag.
And speaking of salaries – my Mama recently made a request that sent shivers to my being. She wants me to buy her a bag! Haha! “Duh, Ma, hindi naman kalakihan ang sweldo ko sa pag-tu-tutor no..”
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have reached the age, apparently, when it’s my turn to buy my parents some materialistic stuff, haha!
She says I have one year to save a little portion of my salary to buy her a bag. I know it’s just a bag. It probably wouldn’t even cost more than a thousand. (Are ladies’ bags even that cheap? Oh, I don’t know!). But to me, doing so is really some sort of milestone of coming of age as a child! I dread the day she's gonna ask me to buy her a sofa set, haha! I hope it won't be soon, for I definitely cannot afford it. Yet.

9) I have become a little more conscious of my health.
Now if only I had enough extra money to go to the gym. It’s not that I want to build a “body to die for” to get “the ladies” (Seriously, most of the time, I think this is the reason why most guys build sexy bodies). I just want to shed off some excess inches on my waistline. My main motivation and reason? So that I can wear some of my favorite pants again! Grabe, yung iba talaga, di ko na kasya!
And of course, I also want to be healthy. I don’t have dangerous vices like smoking or drinking. But I need to start watching what I eat if want to stay healthy, strong, fit and all those traits that adult health products emphasize on.
I buy Men’s Health every now and then. My roommate once complained, “Kuya, bakit di na lang FHM ang bilhin mo. Mas maraming sexy girls dun..” Clearly, my roommate is misguided! Haha! Did he actually think I buy MH because of the sexy models? I reasoned out, “Hindi lang naman sex ang habol ko sa magazine na to no. There’s lot more to being a man than knowing how to please a girl..” I explained further that I was mainly after the health articles than the sex tips.

10) I am no longer the student but the teacher.
Well, to my younger friends, that is – which for the sake of discussion I will call ‘kids’, hehe.
I have blogged many times before that I myself am amazed at the advices I am able to give out to a wide array of problems so I am not going to dwell on that anymore.
Once, a young orgmate texted me just after midnight – “Kuya, teach me how to grow up..” I was stumped, haha! Then I really pondered about it – how did I “grow up” myself?
I ended up telling him to surround himself with mature people, haha! I think one of the main reasons why I matured faster than kids my age was because I hung out with older friends quite a lot in college. I literally and figuratively had “ate” and “kuya” figures who helped me ‘discover’ (more like ‘taught’ most of the time) stuff that “I don’t know”. And now that it’s my turn to be the “kuya”, I always think of them as my role models.
Actually, I think I take the “kuya” role too seriously, for I feel like I “epal” too much sometimes, haha! But what can I say, I just want them to realize what they are doing and to know the consequences if they want to be stubborn about things.

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So there. Again, I am not saying that I am that matured already. I recognize the fact that I still yet have a lot to learn in life. I am just taking it one year and one experience at a time. Besides, no real mature person would boldly declare “I am matured”, hehe!
Plus, in life, the ‘real world’ seems to be ALWAYS the next stage in one’s life. You know, back in high school, teachers would warn us about college and tell us they are preparing us for the real world “out there”. But come college, our professors would start telling us, once we’re working, that’s when “the real world” happens. And then when we’re already working, they’d say “the real life starts when we settle down..” Yada, yada, yada. So clearly, it’s a never-ending cycle until the day we die, haha!