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Monday, July 09, 2007

Top 10 most jologs songs that we used to like back in high school

For the first half of this 'hitlist', kindly click here first. Then go back here. Hehe!

5. MANDY MOORE - Candy
Rex: I actually like Mandy Moore the most compared to her teenage bubblegum pop colleagues like Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera & Jessica Simpson. I do watch her silly and corny movies up to these days! Haha! She was like 14 when she released this song. What’s with the trying-hard-to-be-sexy pouting?! Haha!
Jigs: Mandy Moore here is like the Paris Hilton of the 90's.
Rex: At least she doesn’t have any sex video with Wilder Valderama or Andy Roddick, haha!
Jigs: Just look at those lips, and her non-existent breast! Plus, seeing her dance was weird. Over acting much?!
Rex: Haha! I second the opinion! She looks like a stick man! Trying to project her flat chest (which isn't so flat these days, at least). Do you know that she abhors her first 2 albums? She said she'd refund anyone who'd come up to her and tell her they bought her CDs.
Jigs: I would believe that actually. Ipa-refund mo na ang albums mo! Hahaha!
Rex: Oo nga eh. Sana lang makabangga ko siya one of these days. Anyway, she's releasing a new one soon. This is her last chance to redeem herself as a musical artist. Sayang, I love her pipes pa naman.
Jigs: Back to her song, the chorus has a gawky line, "Swear it to me, like sugar to my heart". Can sugar swear to your heart?!
Rex: Haha! Tell me about it. Tapos the car was painted apple green pa talaga. Candy-ng candy! I guess it just goes to show how a wholesome girl who defied the dumb blond stereotype can still be considered jologs, just because she was too young to stand up to the bubblegum pop machine operators!

4. THE MOFFATS - Miss You Like Crazy
Jigs: Ugh, this was one of the most painful to watch. There's nothing worse than puppy love that went wrong. Ang drama ng kantang ito!!!
Rex: Oo nga, ewan ko ba sa iyo bat nagustuhan mo to! I'm thinking the current TV disaster that is Abt Ur Luv (And Ur Lyf 2! Bwiset!) was based from this video, haha!
Jigs: Don't judge me Mr. boyband fanatic! Another thing about this song, as if a teenager will write in a letter the line "can't you see how I feel, can't you see that my pain's so real" (shivers).
Rex: And don't get me started with the stupid highlights!
Jigs: Well, those highlights actually became famous because of them. The video's actually about how sad they are despite all the fame they're getting. You can't honestly tell me that a bunch of teenagers will be, "so down when your love's not around" even if their wildest dreams are coming true. I just don't buy it!
Rex: Weeeh? Pero you bought the album?
Jigs: Sadly, yes...
Rex: Hahaha! Yahaaak!
Jigs: Shut it
Rex: I never actually liked The Moffats, out of all the boy bands. At least their playing of the instruments is a minus in their jologsness? Haha!

3. WESTLIFE - Bop Bop Baby
Rex: Oooh, my favorite pop act of all time.. I'm hurt that they're #3..
Jigs: Ugh, they deserve this position, this boyband is the worst of all.
Rex: Dahil dapat #1 sila! Haha!
Jigs: They can't dance, they wear similar outfits and they're gay! Most of them anyway.
Rex: Hoy ansama mo! Only 1 of them is gay! And they can dance, I watched their concerts twice... haha! Halata bang addict?!
Jigs: What you witnessed was barely a concert. I bet they lip synched. That's one problem I have when watching a Westlife video, it’s so obvious na naglilip-synch sila, especially the lead singer.
Rex: Heh! Tumigil ka! Anyway, speaking of video. What's with the video of this song!?! "When I call you at home and he answers the phone or I get your machine" sings the lead Musketeer, but the setting of the damn video is the Medieval Ages! Stupid title! Stupid video! Pero in fairness, catchy beat. But what the hell does 'bop bop' mean? To think this one was written by the boys themselves... haha!
Jigs: Yeah, the video was sooo wrong and didn’t make any sense at all. Masyado kasing ambitious ang video. I also think that the bop bop part was filler lyrics for the song. Wala na silang maisip na lyrics... How sad.
Rex: And knowing now that one of them is gay, re-watching this makes it more hilarious as the gay one pretends to be knight in shining armor, haha!
Jigs: 5 guys for 1 girl is just a weird ending. I wonder who gets the girl and who gets the rest of the guys. Hahaha!
Rex: Oh I know.. The gay one gets the rest of the guys, haha!
Jigs: Jeez, we can keep at this till next year, let's just agree that Westlife is jologs and that is that. Hahaha!
Rex: (sings) "Ooh da bop bop jologs, please! Don't let me go…"

2. A1 - Like A Rose
: I really used to like this love song way back in high school. But these days talaga, di ko na masikmura, haha! This boyband video is just so wrong on many levels! The video is so girly for a boyband. It's full of roses… and it's shining shimmering splendid!
Jigs: This has got to be one of the cheesiest videos I have ever seen. The overlapping images and projecting videos on to their bodies is just plain stupid! The lead singer looks sooo gay. And as for the way he sings and acts, he might as well be wearing a Miss Universe gown!
Rex: Grrabe ka naman! Haha! Malamya kasi ang pagkagwapo ng lead vocalist...
Jigs: Tapos parang Christian song pa siya if you listen to it carefully. And this song would seem better if a girl sung it. Well, apparently a girly girl is already singing it!
Rex: Well, a boy singing a girly song in a girly video with a girly title is absolutely jologs!

1. BACKSTREET BOYS - Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)
Rex: Taddaaaa! I must say, this is Jigs' pick... so he's more jologs than me, haha!
Jigs: Syempre the mackdaddy of all boy bands HAS to be the most jologs ever! And I can't believe I really enjoyed listening to this song!
Rex: Yeah, me too!
Jigs: Now, this video basically sums up what boy bands do. Look cute, sing together anywhere (on the street, on the beach while walking, in a forest, etc.), exaggerated hand movements, at least two members who rarely sing, close ups with the other members at the background, and sing reeeeeaaaallly cheesy love songs with rhymes at every line – in the rain no less!
Rex: With matching glorified synthesized drum beats pa. Para akong nanonood ng macho dancer movie!
Jigs: Hahaha! That's what they basically are without the fame.
Rex: I think it's interesting that only Nick Carter doesn't go completely topless here.. Dito yata nagsimula yung chismis na bading daw siya, haha! Pretty much like the rumor that the Spice Girls were transsexuals.
Jigs: I also don't like how boy bands sing about unconditional or martyr love. They're the alter egos of today's Emo.
Rex: Yeah.. Kasalanan nilang lahat ito.. the undying profession of love or eternal broken-heartedness.. Eh paano sila hindi paglalaruan ng babae, eh mukha lang sila boy toys, haha! And how's the 'maglupasay sa ulan' dance routine? Kailangan talaga umulan habang naka-pajama sila? Way way worst than their chair routine in As Long As You Love Me, hehe!
Jigs: Hahaha! I would like to think we all learn from our "jologity" but it seems, boy bands, especially the Backstreet Boys wish to proliferate their jologsness.

Ladies and Gentlemen, you just suffered through ten of the cheesiest, nastiest and catchiest songs we ever had the displeasure of liking during our high school days. Thank you for bearing with us despite our irritating rants and criticisms. Nostalgia got the best of us, and that is never a good thing. On the other hand, this collaboration was truly a pleasure. Tell us what you think is the “jologiest” song you’ve ever liked and why. Who knows, you could be just as jologs as we are. 'Til our next joint post!

Just harshly typing poetic chaos out loud (ano daw?!),
Rex & Jigs

*To download the songs (nako para namang napaka-cool nila diba? Haha!) click here.

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