Recent Thoughts

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Anger Management

Someone dear to me did something to upset me this week. It's nothing serious really. It just so happened that he snapped back at me (which is kind of normal really, because we have this thing where we are almost always sarcastic to each other) at a not-so-good time. His retort was like a wick that fired up the devil in me. I never snapped back though. I told him in private that I was hurt so as not to create a scene.

I am not angered easily. It takes a lot before I am seriously pissed off by anything or anyone. Some consider it dangerous because holding up most of my negative emotions makes me a volcanic eruption waiting to happen. But for me, it's called patience. At least my own version of patience. Haha.

Like most people, I am pissed off with the usual stuff -- people who won't fall in line, heavy traffic, tardy colleagues, failed exams, jerks, etc. But unlike most people, one will seldom hear me whine about them. Because I hate whining. Whining is for the weak. It's crying over spilled milk. It is not going to make the situation any better, so why bother spreading the negativity verbally, right? In contrast, I'd rather laugh about it, come up with a witty or sarcastic (and hopefully funny) punchline or observation in order to circumvent the annoyance. But, just like ordinary people, I am only human and there's only so much I can handle.

So when I do get angry, it only means that I've reached my saturation point for that matter. Hell hath no fury than the king of chocolates scorned, hehe! The bad thing though is that usually, the things or people that get to affect me in such an immense manner are the very same things or people that are immensely dear to my heart as well. It's my waterloo. And during these times, instead of loud curses or public confrontations, I prefer to deal with it quietly because I don't want to say or do something that I will regret later on.

In one TV teaser for Maging Sino Ka Man, I heard these words from John Lloyd's character Eli: "Kung sino pa ang taong mahal mo, sila pa yung mahirap patawarin." I guess it's the computer engineer in me. There's a Tagalog term for it: nangungwenta. (Ewwww, ang corny ng connection, haha!)

I've had my fair share of anger mismanagements -- stupid things that I did out of fury, resentment and rage. Of course, I am not proud of them. If there's anything that I am admittedly guilty of, it's the fact that it's just because I cared. For if I didn't, I wouldn't deem it worthy of my time to risk doing or saying the stupidest things.

So, what happened between me and this friend who upset me recently? Well, nag-sorry naman siya, so I didn't have to be such a baby about it. It really wasn't a big deal, I just needed time to let the ash fall of my eruption subside. After that, I should be okay (and I was). Besides, hindi ko rin naman siya matitiis. It's another waterloo of mine. (",)

Quick Thoughts