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Saturday, June 17, 2006

A Fresh New Start

Whew! The first half of the 2006 is already nearing its end. And Looking back at the events of the past 6 months, I can safely say that it’s the worst 6 months of my life. It’s practically my own life’s version of the Dark Ages! Haha! But the past week, I feel like my own Renaissance had started ushering in.

There's some things that I regret
Some words I wish had gone unsaid
Some starts that had some bitter endings
Been some bad times I've been through
Damage I cannot undo
Some things I wish I could do all all over again

Whoever wrote this song for Carrie Underwood, must've known what I've been through the past 6 months! Haha! There’s no better way of saying what I went through – the regrets, the bitter endings, the bad times, the damage WE cannot undo and even the things I wish I could do all all over again! Haha! Perfect!

But it don't really matter
Life gets that much harder
It makes you that much stronger

I must admit, 6 months worth of problems, betrayals, pain, failures, disappointments and rejections took its toll on me. Nangyari na to last year eh, (but on a lesser degree), naulit lang at mas tumindi pa. The first time things in my life got outrageously out of control, I still managed to weather the storm because I could still see the disguised goodness in the tragedies. But this time around, I was completely clueless. Iyong mga bagay na akala ko ay pinanghahawakan ko, well, wala na pala sila sa akin. Yeah, you could say that I was a fool in thinking I still had the things I thought I had.

There's mistakes that I have made
Some chances I just threw away
Some roads I never should've taken
Been some signs I didn't see
Hearts that I hurt needlessly
Some wounds that I wish I could have one more chance to mend
But it don't make no difference
The past can't be rewritten
You get the life you're given

I had to learn major lessons the hard way – twice. I guess He realized that I didn’t learn the first time so He had to teach me harder the second time around. So I asked for a chance to correct my many mistakes. He gave it at the last minute. I guess He just wanted me to pray hard enough for it. Haha! Kung anu-ano pa tuloy pinromise ko na gawin! Don’t worry Lord, I will stick to my end of the bargain. =p

And all the things that break you
All the things that make you strong
You can't change the past cause it's gone,
And you just gotta move on
Because it's all lessons learned.

So now, in line with the new school year (and hopefully me last), I feel like it a whole new lease not only in my academic life but in my whole life in general! Siguro, ganun talaga kapag naramdaman mo na malaki ang nawala sa iyo tapos bigla kang binigyan ng pagkakataon na makuha mo itong muli. Para akong Keanna Reeves – I feel like I've been reborn!

Anyway, this post might not mean anything to you, especially if you have no idea what exactly I've been through. Basta, convince yourselves that when I say ‘it was the worst 6 months of my life’, it was indeed so. I just wanted to share how happy and relieved I am that finally, the storm is over. What I should focus on now is how I would survive after the storm, diba? There's no use lamenting over the damage. Geesh, I've been overdoing it the past 6 months. It's time that I do something about it. =p

For those who are undergoing something similar in your own lives, well, just keep believing. Nyaks, corny naman masyado no? I can't think of any other way of saying it eh! Basta pray ka lang ng pray hanggang mamatay ka, hehe! Just make sure though that you pray for the right things. In my case, I was so ready and willing to give up everything, even the better things in my life just because of the seemingly endless problems. But with the help of family and real friends, I just prayed for courage to face my own personal monsters, the strength to fight and defeat them, the hope to keep my spirits up, the wisdom to lead me to where I should be and what I should do and of course, the chance to make things right.

Let me end with the anthem chorus of the featured song in this post. It says it all eh. I need not expound, lest I start sounding like a preacher. Haha! =p

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night
Every change life has thrown me
I'm thankful for every break in my heart
I'm grateful for every scar
Some pages turned
Some bridges burned
But there were lessons learned

The featured song in this post is LESSONS LEARNED by CARRIE UNDERWOOD. Its meaningful lyrics is powered with a hopeful arrangement. You might want to give it a try. =p

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