Recent Thoughts

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

10 kinds of sadness

Look up 'saddened' in your favorite thesaurus and you will find up to 20 synonyms. They all mean the same negative feeling, albeit in varying degrees and in varying situations. More so, sadness is also relative, which is something I learned when I read a blog post of complaints a few days ago. Add the factor that some of us are 'stronger' such that what may be distressing for us may not be so for them.

So out of the many synonyms of 'saddened', here's my personal perspective of 10 of them.

PEEVED is when you get upset after you argue with a person who just won't listen because of all his close-minded bull.

AFFLICTED is when you can't sleep even if you badly want to, especially when you start becoming ill. That's why usually, there's actual physical pain.

DISTURBED is when you know you only wanted to do the right thing but you know that in the process, you'll most probably incur a friend's wrath.

PAINED is when you remember the good ol'times with the people you once considered very good friends. But somewhere along the way, acts of selfishness or betrayal severed your deep ties with them. Nagging questions like 'what happened?' will always bring a tinge of pain. You are also pained when you realize that the person you once greatly looked up to has become a big time jerk. You feel betrayed though technically, hindi naman ikaw ang tinarantado niya. You don't know whether your 'idol' was just fooled into the dark side or worse, he was just pretending to be on the good side all along. Yun! Ganun na ganun ang 'pained'. Okay, I will stop now. Hehe!

DEPRESSED is when you just feel sad and alone, despite your gazillion friends. You feel like nobody cares, that no one listens to your 'cries' of help.

DISCOMBOBULATED is the word I use in a conversation when I want to be sarcastic or when I want to show off my vocabulary skills, haha! Ang hindi nila alam, memoryado ko lang talaga yung word, haha!

DISPIRITED is what comes to mind when I hear Carrie Underwood's Jesus Take The Wheel, especially the part where you're 'running low on faith and gasoline..' I usually feel this after make-or-break exams wherein I try to convince myself that I will still pass despite not having been able to answer 2 out of 3 problems.

DISTRAUGHT is when you've already done your best and your fate is not anymore in your hands but other people's. You're worried because you don't feel secure that things will go your way.

DEVASTATED is when something extremely tragic has happened. Like for example, if you get permanently expelled from school because you've already been previously dismissed 4 times already. Of course, a death of a beloved falls under the category of devastation.

WRETCHED is for me the aftermath of being devastated. When the dust due to the devastation settles, it is usually then when you start assessing your life. That's when you realize that everything is a mess. You don't know what to do. You are completely lost in your own life.

Of course, I don't really use these words in everyday life, haha! I had to use the dictionary to actually differentiate them. As you can see, all of them sound so negatively alike.

I realized that when we are in a low moment, we tend to have a biased view of what sadness is. We lose perspective and forget that at any given low point in our life, there exists at least one good thing to be happy about and thankful for. In moments when we feel so alone, we never actually are. More often than not, this 'I-am-so-alone' drama we have is primarily our fault anyway. Sometimes, we are just too shy, or worse, too proud to ask or accept well-meaning help from other people -- especially the more loyal and more dependable of our so-called friends.

Quick Thoughts