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Friday, May 04, 2007

Top 10 things I didn't like about Spider-man 3

Before any of the Spidey loyalists out there would crucify me, know that while I know the very basic facts about Peter Parker and Spider-man, I am no comic book fan. I also watched a few epsiodes of the cartoon version on ABS-CBN a decade ago. But that's it. I watched Spider-man 1 & 2 and immensle enjoyed both. My expectations on Spider-man 3 were pretty high, so I was disappointed when I watched it. It wasn't a complete mess though. It's just that the annoying things outweighed the enjoyable ones.

Here's a list of the Top 10 things about the movie that annoyed me the most:
(In no particular order)

1. Harry having amnesia after the fight? For a while there I thought I was watching a local teleserye, hehe! Worse, it didn’t last long, to think that he supposedly lost 3 years worth of memory. Even Mike Delfino of Desperate Housewives who lost 2 years worth of memory to amnesia had to wait way way longer than Harry to bring back just a few scenes of his lost past. Sorry, it was a little ridiculous.

2. What’s up with the nosy butler? It took two movies after Green Goblin’s death for the loyal family butler to actually tell Harry that his father’s death is not Spidey’s fault. Geesh, if only he told Harry earlier, it would’ve saved his ward a lot of trouble. And he’d probably be still alive for Spider-man 4.

3. There were too many villains for me. It felt like 3 episodes of Smallville in one movie the only difference being that they all ganged up on him in the end. (Or not, ‘cause Harry switched sides eventually). I just feel that the villains weren’t given enough exposure for me to actually hate them. Which brings us to…

4. … insufficient character development. Like I said, new villains were introduced too quickly for me to actually feel their ‘evil’, to understand where they're coming from. Sure it was mentioned, but to the (un)wise words of Randy Jackson, "I wasn't feeling that, dawg!".

5. I’ve heard Kirsten Dunst’s voice on Dream Of Me (and she can carry a decent tune), that’s why I was surprised that they used a ghost singer in Mary Jane’s theatre and resto gig scenes. It was obviously not her voice so it was awkwardly creepy to hear her sing. (EDIT: A friend says it was actually Kirsten who sang in the movie. If it's true, I stand corrected. But it still sounds odd.)

6. I don’t really know how funny Spider-man is supposed to be in the comics, but one thing I liked about Tobey Maguire’s portrayal of Spider-man is his random comic moments (remember his 'aw, my back!' in Spidey 2?). But in this movie, it didn’t work for me. His dance number to spite Mary Jane was dragging (okay, we get the point, he's not himself, can we get on with the hard action, now?), and so was his goofy dancing in the streets. He reminded me of Taylor Hicks for a few seconds.

Does Mary Jane have to screech painstakingly and fall off from extremely high places all the freaking time? I mean come on! Even Lana Lang does not do a repeat performance of her mishaps. (Although, Lana Lang does ALWAYS have to be kidnapped by the meteor freaks. But oh well, that's another story, haha!). To the writers, there are other ways in order to torture the leading ladies!

8. And what’s with the stupid onlookers in the crime scenes throughout the movie who had to bring their children in with them? I mean come on! If something violent is going on, would you bring your child along to satisfy your curiosity and know what’s going on?

9. And again, what’s with Venom’s ‘ransom note’ that was like printed out of a web printer?

10. Speaking of Venom, I actually liked him more in this movie than Spider-man himself because I think he showed more personality. Topher Grace was a delight, but I think he was not right for the role of an antagonist. I didn't want him to die. I actually enjoyed it when he was being an ass to Spidey!

So there, feel free to berate me, but these are just my observations and opinions. Yeah I admit, much of these things shouldn't be a big deal. But the thing is, the movie wasn't as enjoyable as it should be, because if I was enjoying the story, I wouldn't have resorted to criticizing minor details. I would've been lost in the story of a wouldv'e-been great movie that actually deserves the hype.

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