Just 3 Years Ago

Tawagin niyo na akong jologs or mababaw, pero so far in three days, I haven't missed a single episode of Pinoy Big Brother Teen Edition. Magmula noong launch at two doses of weekday primetime. Oo, pati PBBTE Uplate pinapatos ko! Blame on lack of better things to do and / or watch. Kaya eto, napagtitiyagan ko ang mga kababawan ng mga teenagers na ‘to. I admit that it’s not an example of a superb form of entertainment, but when I watch it, I always feel a tinge of nostalgia. I remember high school. I remember my high school friends. I remember early college years. I remember me – when I was their age.

I see bits of my old self in some of the teen housemates. In high school, I was the valedictorian like Aldred. But unlike him, I wasn’t as appealing to the girls, haha! Wala akong dimples eh, ehehe. Kung siya, proven na magaling magluto, ako naman trying hard.

Like Mikee, I was good in Math (take note: past tense). I was a delegate to the Math Olympiad. I didn’t win, haha! But at least as far as my batch is concerned, I'm one of the best (pagbigyan niyo na ako!). Pangarap ko dati, ma-perfect lahat ng periodical exams sa Math. Well, hindi ko siya nagawa. Pero in fairness, hindi lumalagpas ng 5 ang mali ko sa four quarters.

Like Fred, I was disciplined. But not physically, ang payat ko noon eh. I hated CAT in high school. Pero sa mga classmates ko, I had this uptight image / aura. If my classmates gets mischievous and almost gets away with it, I'm always expected to be the one to squeal about it.

Like Niña, I'm always misinterpreted. Kung siya, laging pinagkakamalan na maarte, ako naman laging pinagkakamalan na suplado at boring. Eh hindi naman. (Syempre, iyung ang sasabihin ko diba, hehe). Basta, tanungin niyo man mga high school friends ko, lagi ko naman nadidisprove ang first impressions sa akin, kapag nakilala mo na ako.

Like Mikki, I was independent-minded in my own way. My parents are both away in Bahrain, and I handle my own allowance that they monthly provide. Kahit hindi masyado malaki baon ko, nakakaipon pa rin ako kaya hindi na ako humihingi kung may gimik man ako. Since 2^nd year high school, pareho nang naka-abroad parents ko. That means seven years na akong nakaka-survive nang walang parents. Of course, nandiyan naman Ate ko. Hindi ko naman sinasabing ako bumubuhay sa sarili ko, noh. Ang point ko lang eh, kahit wala parents ko, hindi ako napabayaan sarili ko in the sense na hindi ako nagbulakbol, hindi ako nagdrugs, hindi ako nalulong sa bisyo. Pinalaki kaming may matinong disposisyon.

Anyway, namimiss ko tuloy iyung time na teenager pa ako. Bakit? Maraming dahilan. Una, mas simple ang buhay. Unlike now, there’s too many complications. Dati, sure ako na kahit ano dumating na problema, kayang-kaya ko. Ngayon, hindi na ako ganoon ka-sure.

Isa pa, mas may kilig factor ang buhay noon. Iyung tipong everytime you see your crush, there’s butterflies in your stomach? Nandiyan din iyung asaran at nalilink kung kani-kanino. Pero sabagay, kahit naman ngayon, kung kani-kanino pa rin ako nililink. Pero wala na masyado paru-paro sa tiyan. Ewan. Kumbaga dati, kahit malabo mangyari kinikilig pa rin, ngayon, masyado na akong cynical para kiligan sa kababawan, pangarap o kabaliwan.

Grabe, parang kelan lang eh excited at proud na proud ako na 21 na ako. Ngayon naman, nag-mumuni-muni na sana teenager ulit ako. Siguro nga totoo iyung sinasabi na sign ng pagtanda or pagmamature ang pagiging sentimental – kapag namimiss mo iyung dati. In this case, by ‘dati’ I mean ‘just three years ago’. Three years lang iyun ah, ang bilis dumaan. Paano pa kung ten years!