Recent Thoughts

Monday, October 09, 2006

Bane

I miss the days when worrying what gift to request for my birthday was the worst of my worries.
I miss the days when I am assured of getting at least 7.5 hours of sleep because Mama forces me to bed by 8.30pm already. Geesh, if I were a kid these days, I couldn't even watch Super Inggo, hehe.
I miss the days when being ignored by your ultimate love (which, as we grow older, we realize it was ONLY a crush) wouldn't feel as painful, it can be easily brushed off with a trip to McDonald's.
I miss the days when my bright mornings start with a dose of Cartoon Network and Sineskwela. Nowadays, I have to wake up to ASAP 2006 or Wowowee.
I miss the days when a simple but enjoyable afternoon with my playmates would already make my day big time!
I miss the days when schoolwork wasn't so challenging. Mama would always countercheck my homeworks anyway.
I miss the days when even if I throw a terrible tantrum, the adults wouldn't take it against me, bata lang kasi ako eh.
I miss being the pampered bunso, I almost always get what I want (as long as it's reasonable anyway, hehe).
I miss the days when life wasn't so complicated.
I miss being a kid.

I hate being a grown-up right now.
I hate having too much responsibilities. Just because I am older, it doesn't mean I can handle it all.
I hate being forced to be the grown-up just because older grown-ups refuse to act like one.
I hate being forced to understand 'kids', just because I am older, I should be more understanding and patient. But just because I am older, it doesn't mean I don't get hurt.
I hate being responsible for these 'kids', especially when I am not even appreciated.

Aaaaargh! I hate being nice! Haha! Just for once, I don't want to helpful, dependable and approachable. For once, I want to be selfish, to not care, to not be concerned. Just this instance, I don't want to be the older brother.

Bunso ako. I should be a spoiled brat. I should be immature. I should be too dependent. I should be clueless, helpless. But I am not. *Sigh* Boon or bane? Right now, I would have to say 'bane'.

Quick Thoughts